A CALL FOR COMPASSION

I know – and love – eight women who have had abortions. Of all eight, none were Democrats and only one was not American. You too know – and love – women who have had an abortion. You may not know that, however.

I suspect that bringing awareness, compassion, and loving kindness to these women may have been something you would have tried to do had you known. Had they trusted that you would listen with empathy and not judgment, if they told you. Many of these women are among you. They shop where you shop, they play where you play, they worship where you worship. They laugh and cry – just as you do. They feel happiness – but not quite as you might, for their life-changing choice brought about a pain that you cannot possibly know.

Their choice to have an abortion brought about a suffering from which they will never be free. I suspect that if their community, society, church, friends or family were sure to show compassion, they may have reached out for help before having to make such a drastic choice that changed their life in a way that they will never live down. They have a recurring “pull” that cannot be explained – and likely cannot be understood by you or me. There are parts of them they disown or want to keep hidden. Their journey of self-knowledge as they go through life and become wives, mothers, career women, teachers, bankers, lawyers, and doctors may be uncomfortable and challenging in ways you and I will never know.

You love them -- as you know them but they must make friends with all of who (or “what” as they often feel) they are. They must reconcile themselves, their heads, hearts and their souls with their God, our God and the God-within each of us. As we all grew older, where you were free to welcome another person into your heart, they felt unworthy. Not because they were in fact, unworthy but because society and the moral and political matrices of so many made them feel alone and afraid.

Why do I know these eight women in a way that you do not? Because they trusted in my commitment to compassion for their state of being – a cold, dark, place where their greatest fear was being alone, second only to be treated unkindly as a pariah might be treated. They had to make peace with themselves and God. Theirs is likely a life-long struggle. Even when they laugh and smile with the children they now have, they never forget.

Let me be clear – I am not pro-abortion. I do not believe that any woman is pro-abortion. The angry mobs that make this their battle cry, need to stop, take a breath, think about the pain of that woman already has the suffering that their battle cry ensures. A suffering they carry all their living days. Yes the question remains in the heads and hearts of many -- who speaks for the unborn? We must all grapple with that as we may never reconcile in our minds a reasonable definition of life. However, we do know that the woman who must grapple most, who is unarguably alive -- may not be alive and well.

A woman’s mind, body, and soul should not be an issue of any political party platform. All too often, we find that church dictates make their way into our legislation because of the power and wealth of that lobby. In light of the concern regarding women’s rights – so long and hard fought for – may we be aware in our every word and every action, the importance of compassion, responsibility, and interfaith harmony.

The worldview of another may not be mine, or yours, but it is hers -- yes, hers, and it is very personal. In the case of abortion, the worldview is not simply regional or political or religious – it is personal ...very personal. So I beg of you to put compassion first when addressing the issue of birth control and abortion regarding woman’s rights. Regardless of your stand on the legal issue, do not forget to choose your words and speak softly. Before you launch an attack on a person in another party or religion, consider that the person although different than you in those surface level ways – is no different than you at her core. We are all humans, and must treat one another as such, humanely, and with compassion.

Victim of every attack we make are women we know, daughters, sisters, mothers, best friends -- yes, you do know women who have had abortions. May God give them grace and peace of mind, may we give them love and compassion. Listening with empathy rather than judgment may very well be a preventive measure. As you follow your path, I follow mine, and each of the eight women you and I know – and love – follow theirs, my hope is that we will all find that compassion and acceptance replace fear, negative judgment, and worry. Whatever your stand on the issue of abortion, remember to speak softly, as a women who stands beside you may suffer the never-ending “pull.”